Your tits are I can't wait for
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
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