Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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