The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
