i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize