they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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