Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
