Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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