brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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