I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
