We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
