The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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