Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
