Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
