This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
