What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this just has baby written all over it
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
