1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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