Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
worst night to have a conscience
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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