I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
