margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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