All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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