had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
