i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize