he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
