Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
