I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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