So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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