we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
