I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
