Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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