I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
