Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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