I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
