i already hear my dad disowning me
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
