Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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