Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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