in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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