I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
