So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
