Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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