I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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