I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
