I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
