i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
