there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
