its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
