Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
