I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
