I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize