I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
