If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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