I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just blew my weed a kiss
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
