if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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