I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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