its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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