i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
