My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
