im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
