It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
