I faked an abortion last night.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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