Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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