the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
