wat bout pragnant strippers??
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
