Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
