I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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