If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
