I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
