My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize