Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
