i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
