I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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