do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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