Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
