he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
