White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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