I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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