do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize