I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
