I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
