never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
