i was born a porn star she said
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
