SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
