He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
