Need sex. Gaining weight.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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